Hi Everyone. Wow, has it already been more than a month since the last posting, yikes. Did you miss me? Wait, don’t answer that. I am going to pretend you did for my ego’s sake. Dreamers must dream…ahhhh, soothing delusions. All better! I do miss all of you, immensely!
But seriously, its been way too long and not at all intentional. As you know my household has a multitude of challenges medically and within continual mental health healing. A by-product of that status is periods where I only exist to manage the crisis rolling over us. It sucks, no way around that truth. As often as I can plow through and do what others consider impossible, I functionally have “stumble crumbled”, as the weight wears me down.
This round came in the form of complications from migraine botox injections. It’s rare, (therefore guaranteed to happen to me), but for some, the eye muscles can be so weakened the
eye cannot stay open. Presto, blind for a few weeks to months. So currently I am stumble crumbling around waiting for my left eye to reopen and my right eye to open fully. Today has been a better day.
The boys are in the grips of their own crisis. Sadly John has declined further, forgetting family members names and faces, losing track of the sequence of his day and generally struggling with retaining thought. For a 15-year-old dude, nothing could hurt more than the inability to hang out with friends over a summer. He has no friends anyway, being in bed most of the day, but not getting outside enough to get friends is terrible. He clings to hope because I told him giving up is no option. Some parents threaten if grades aren’t high enough, I scold if hope fades to dim. I say scold in a supportive, not defeating way.
Zane is just Zane. Full of sonic power, quicker than the speed of sound energy and a body as fragile as a spiders web. So just imagine a fighter jet made of a spider web. Hmmm, weird, that’s all I got. What I cherish and love about him is he just keeps going. Sick, sad, happy or mad, he just goes! Such wisdom in that unintended characteristic. It may cause me frustration, but the joy of his energy amidst the heartache is inspiring. We manage some great hours hanging out in the backyard with the birds. The day before my injections we had just got the feeders up getting ready for new baby birds. I am now happily watching them with my right eye as I recover. It’s quite a sight. Me I mean, I am the oddest bird out there.
In other news. The over-powering positive news is the opportunity to do more mainstream writing. Request from some companies looking to use portions of my story, and others seeking consult on how to improve services. Kinda awesome and although it hasn’t translated into a payday, it has given me the strength and encouragement to push harder. I read so many other authors on WordPress that inspire me, educate me, and give examples worthy of my respect. Writing is freedom, its power, and its serenity.
I will be releasing posts more regular as I get that stubborn left eye to reopen. Geeze, I knew people in my life were stubborn, but my own eye not listening to me is a new one. I am looking forward to writing, sharing and growing, and hopefully having some laughs along the way!